Hey! Did you hear all our admissions have been cancelled by the admission authority?
This had been a usual exclamation and could be heard from almost everyone almost everyday. Our medical college had been in its first year of education that time. And as usual, there were some problems we heard regarding the recognition, affiliation etc. of our batch. We, coming from various parts of the country, were one at worrying about our admissions. No matter howsoever diverse our languages, cultures, customs and backgrounds were, we all used to be tense in a single language. This added tension of admissions was yet another factor that added to my home sickness. And not to forget one of my then most favourite songs from Chak De India that said,'...Laut ke aayega re shart laga le...' (...you would come back, I bet...) that made me feel I was destined to go back home. But still there was something that kept on telling from inside, Study Abhishek, study. Your admission is confirmed. I didn't give up studying, rather kept on telling others to study so that we may not panic when our admissions would get confirmed and we would appear in the university exams in a couple of months.
Today, when all those initial issues are no more, I wonder how and why we worried for such small things that time. But yes, then we too were little kids out of our homes away from our families for the first time in life and we didn't know what to worry about and what not. We were so immature that we did use to bother about what everyone said about everyone. We were so immature that we could not imagine life without pals. We did not know how to go to a cinema hall alone without friends. As if we didn't know that we were from different homes, different families, different states and the foremost, we were different. Yes! We all were different, though many of us still don't believe it. But, differences arose. Sometimes on the matters of education, management, faculties, girls and sometimes on matters we couldn't understand and so we called those as issues of personal ego. Well, gradually we learnt that these are not very big but usual things one encounters throughout the whole life.
On one hand, things were running ahead and on the other, I kept standing for sometime for my fellow friends to come together so that we all could become a part of all the fun and joy of studies, parties, outings, movies and all that one could expect college students do. But to my surprise, I was somewhere thrown aside by my dear younger brothers in almost all the activities we did, except studies. My job was then confined to just going to college alone, attending lectures and practicals alone, marking proxy attendances for them and then coming back to hostel to find all of them disappeared. The late evening I would come to know they went out for an outing or a movie. My own roommate had withdrawn his admission himself and so I was left in the room all alone. As the days passed, this word kind of became my personality, my destiny...ALONE.
I was surprised to know that all this was just because I behaved like an elder brother and they said one could not share doing such activities with his elder brother. I wondered how and why did I never notice any of my school friends not sharing things with their brothers. I thought a brother was the best person to share all good and bad things with. Well how would have I known, the ultimate fact was that I didn't have a brother. And somewhere I started realising that I was much happy with my Papa-Mumma and both elder sisters since I could share almost everything with them. Yes, that was cent percent true. But still, something kept on aching inside...
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